The one mistake women make is stepping into others' life tasks. And it's hard to stop feeling overwhelmed if you keep doing so.

I shared about letting others do their life tasks by sharing responsibilities, about escaping overwhelmingness and burn out,

Hum.. What's “life tasks”?

If you are a friend, a spouse, or an educator, it's a concept that can transform your relationships and also how much you take on yourself.

In their bestselling book "The Courage to be Disliked", Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga introduce the concept of life tasks and how getting into the life tasks of others is often the cause of most problems.

The concept of life tasks is based on the teachings of Alfred Adler, a 19th-century psychologist who believed that happiness lies in the hands of each individual.

According to Adler, we all have three life tasks: work, friendship, and love. These are the areas where we can contribute to society and find meaning in our lives.

However it gets interesting when we start judging others about their life tasks.

Many people face difficulties in fulfilling their life tasks because they are afraid of being disliked or rejected by others. For example, at work, they try to please everyone and avoid conflicts.

Because of what we believe society will think of us, we interfere with the life tasks of our partner, children, etc. and try to control them, because we are afraid to be judged in our turn, or to be disliked, for how our child looks. This leads to unhappiness and resentment, both for ourselves and for others.

Are you addressing your life tasks right now? To address your own life tasks instead of stepping into others’, here are three actionable steps:

1. Recognize that you are free to choose your own lifestyle and values, and that you are not bound by your past or by other people’s expectations. You have the courage to be disliked.

2. Focus on your own strengths and abilities, and use them to contribute to society in a positive way. Do not compare yourself with others or compete with them. You have the courage to be happy.

3. Respect other people’s freedom and individuality, and do not interfere with their life tasks. Do not judge them or try to change them. You have the courage to coexist.

If you did this, you will be happier and your mind would be less bothered by others' issues or even get overwhelmed.

Next, how can you stop bothering others (important people in your life) in their life tasks and free your mind?

I know you are wondering.. But I care about my friend, my work, my colleague, my partner, my child…

I can't just observe and do nothing when they are going off course, or they leave important issues unaddressed.

That's exactly what is cluttering your mind and you must free it!

1. Listen to them with empathy and understanding, and do not impose your own opinions or solutions on them. Let them express their feelings and thoughts freely. You have the courage to communicate.

2. Encourage them to discover their own potential and purpose, and support them in pursuing their goals and dreams. Do not criticize them or hold them back. You have the courage to inspire.

3. Appreciate them for who they are, and celebrate their achievements and growth. Do not envy them or resent them. You have the courage to praise.

Since I started applying the concept of life task, I stopped complaining about my husband's doings, I stopped feeling the need to carry the whole world on my shoulders alone because he would not help.

I understood later (thanks to empathy), he didn’t step in to carry his part of the world because I was too quick to take on the whole world and took up the whole space.

When I started taking a step back and instead became the empathetic communicator, the inspiring partner, and praising partner, my husband stepped in more. I was also more at ease with myself and reached my state of happiness; and I'm never going back.

Do you see now how you have been worrying about things you could let go and these have been cluttering your mind? Do see you today why it's normal that you feel overwhelmed sometimes and you have the power to correct course and be happy?

What is one action you'll take today?